**Disclaimer: foul language ahead**

Modern technology is GREAT! Communication is instantaneous, no more wasting time waiting on a phone call or even an email, why not send a text?

Texting, social media, email…all these have brought dating to a whole new level. This can be both good AND bad. Let me explain.

Before, you had a date, usually someone you met from work, or a friend of a friend (uh let’s not go there, shall we?) You met, usually very awkwardly, and sometimes had to struggle to make small talk. Sometimes you “clicked,” other times, you did not.

Introducing text messaging. “Hey, I have a friend I want you to meet. Can I give him/her your number?” Sure. So, numerous texts follow, ending with a “I’m tired of texting, can we talk on the phone?” ALL IN THE COURSE OF A FEW SHORT HOURS. Texting lends you something of an anonymity that you do not have with a face to face first “meeting,” and leads into a smooth phone conversation, which can lead into a really good first date. From what I have heard (because as we know, I do not really date), texting cuts the courting time into at least HALF. You can send quick texts throughout the day, getting to know each other, again under the guise of electronic communication that seems somewhat sterile and anonymous. People in this technologically advanced society get to know each other so much faster. So…good, right?

Well, maybe not. PEOPLE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH FASTER. The mystery is gone somewhat from this constant electronic exchange of information, and Heaven forbid you follow each other on Facebook. Do we really need this constant deluge of information from our closest Facebook friends and potential partners? I am somewhat reserved on Facebook and Twitter, although I do post a lot, its like I am the Seinfeld of Facebook posters: my posts are typically about NOTHING. Except I do post about food. And homework. And housework. And TV. And what my kids are doing. So…my “nothing” apparently is “something.” What about these people who are constantly posting about their ex’s, their jobs, their financial and/or health problems? Too much of a good thing, can seriously be too much of a good thing.

Then, there’s the demise of a relationship. It’s so easy now to do it in so many different ways. First, there’s the fade, aka, the “ghosting” method. This is where someone just kinda stops exerting any effort and completely breaks communication with their boyfriend/girlfriend (I hate those words, but sounds better than lover or significant other). This is shitty, people. Just f*cking tell them, “It’s not you, it’s me. Oh wait, it’s totally you.” (Fairly Oddparents, Phillip the Nickel, Cosmo broke up with him. I totally used that line once, and still regret it…NO I DON’T! I STILL LAUGH MY ASS OFF WHEN I THINK OF IT…As a matter of fact…listen to some music, I’ll be back, giggling too hard). Okay, I’m back, sorry about the technical difficulties, folks. The point is, when most of your “dating” is done electronically because of time, distance, or both, it’s easy to just sever that tie without repercussions. You walk away feeling pretty smug, without any guilt, while the person you just dumped is wondering what the hell they did, or IF YOU ARE EVEN STILL ALIVE!!!! Cowardly bastard.

Another really shitty and chickenshit way to break up with someone is via text. You know what, you might have dated for three weeks, but it rates a phone call. Five minutes. FIVE MINUTES. That’s all it takes. FIVE minutes to just tell someone, “I’m sorry, it’s just not working out.” Okay, look, that took two seconds to type. I bet you could say it faster. Please don’t use texts to breakup with someone. Seriously? WTF?! And don’t EVEN think of doing it via email, Snapchat, or Facebook message. Seriously? Let’s just forget for a minute about the pain that you could potentially be causing. It’s just f*cking RUDE. Okay? I know, who wants to have someone weeping on the other end, but take responsibility. Maybe you will get lucky, and the other person will not weep! But steel yourself to do this, at the very least on the phone, if not in person.

Before I wrap this up, let me just remind everyone of another danger of electronic communication that has evolved in recent years: CATFISHING. I can pretend to be someone I am not, just rock your world electronically, then ghost you. Beware when meeting people online, please. Even my youngest daughter understands catfishing and worries about it. Okay, wow. Mouths of babes and all that.

Let’s just step back a minute and remember the good ole days of dating, when it was face to face. You seriously waited a day (at least) to get a phone call, and did not receive a text within seconds of your date ending. It’s great, I LOVE texting (because I do hate talking on the phone), but texting is taking away our common courtesies and manners (you do NOT want to get me started on people who send text abbreviations in work emails!!). As human beings, we should all have some level of empathy for our fellow homo sapiens, and treat them like we would want to be treated. Plus, what kind of example are we setting for our children? THIS is the way they are learning to break up with people and end relationships. It’s sad. This is NOT the way to teach them responsibility for their actions – this is just teaching them we can ignore things or that we can be crappy to people and walk away relatively unscathed.

We need to be better.

(End disclaimer: ghosting can happen when you are not in a real relationship or just amongst your friends. I am guilty of this at times, it’s shitty and I am trying to be better. I sometimes get so wrapped up and involved my version of life with my kids, work, and school, that I often build walls. I shouldn’t do it, and that old crap line about knowing is half the battle is well…crap. My apologies if I have semi-ghosted you.)

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